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Any day now, Blac Chyna is about to welcome the first-born Kardashian girl since Khloé. It’s a feat that fills us not only with the warm-and-fuzzies, but with diabolical glee. Since we’re guessing we won’t be invited to Chyna’s real baby shower (thrown by Amber Rose? Kris Jenner? KYLIE Jenner?) we decided to throw our own for the mom-to-be, and Queen of All Trolls.

Your invitation, and all the items we hand-picked for her registry, are in the gallery below:

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