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R. Kelly is known for dodging all the questions people want to know regarding his criminal accusations, his infamous relationship with Aaliyah and the demons from his past.

Somehow, GQ was able to squeeze some apparition of clarity out of the dodgy superstar.

Here are some of the shocking confessions the star divulges with the magazine, in the wake of his memoir set to be released soon.

On Being Sexually Assaulted By A Relative As A Child

“At first, I couldn’t judge it,” he said to the reporter, when asked if he realized at the time that a really bad thing was happening. “I remember it feeling weird. I remember feeling ashamed. I remember closing my eyes or keeping my hands over my eyes. I remember those things, but couldn’t judge it one way or the other fully.”

On How Sexual Assault Affected Him Growing Up

“It teaches you to definitely be sexual earlier than you should have, than you’re supposed to. You know, no different than putting a loaded gun in a kid’s hand—he gonna grow up being a shooter, probably. I think it affects you tremendously when that happens at an early age. To be more hornier. Your hormones are up more than they would normally be. Mine was.”

On His Connection With Aaliyah

“Uh, I would describe it as best friends. Deep friends. As far as we both loved music and wanted to be successful. She’s a Capricorn, I’m a Capricorn, my momma a Capricorn, her daddy’s a Capricorn, you know. It was just so much in common with each other.”

“I was in love with Aaliyah just like I was in love with anybody else. But in a different, friend type of way.”

On His Alleged Marriage To Aaliyah

“Well, because of Aaliyah’s passing, as I’ve always said, out of respect for her mother who’s sick and her father who’s passed, I will never have that conversation with anyone. Out of respect for Aaliyah, and her mother and father who has asked me not to personally. But I can tell you I loved her, I can tell you she loved me, we was very close. We were, you know, best best best best friends.”

On Why People Keep Supporting Him Despite The Child Pornography Case

“[Fans] said, ‘The hell with what other people are saying—we love R. Kelly, we believe R. Kelly, he was found innocent, he’s moving on with his life, he’s not letting that tear him down.’ I believe that’s what it was.”

On Recovering From The Accusations

“Well, I used to be, ‘Wow—seriously?’ It made me feel terrible. But now I, honestly, don’t think about it or could care one way or the other what people think about me. I have fans and I have family that love me, and I have my music, and I have my breath going in and out. I’m more than okay with who I am and who I have become today as a man, and I’m just moving on with my life, man, doing this music. I’m good.”

On Sleeping In His Closet. Wait, Whet?

“Absolutely, sometimes. Most of the times, it’s just peace of mind. First of all, it’s a pretty big closet. There’s a few reasons. The way the sunlight comes through the window, when I wake I don’t like it. I like pitch-black, because I sleep well when it’s just pitch-black. I leave my phones outside of the closet, and once I get in that closet I feel like no one in the world has any idea that I am in this closet right now. And that gives me a peace of mind, to know that no one knows where I’m at right now. ‘I bet you they can’t find me here.’ So it’s that kind of thought.”

On The Alleged Bill Cosby Victims

“If God showed me that they were telling the truth, I would say that’s wrong. I don’t care if it was a zillion years ago. But God would have to do that, because God is the only one can show me that. No man can tell me that. No woman can tell me that. And when you wait 70 years, 50 years, 40 years, to say something that simple, it’s strange. You know why I say that is because it happened to me, and it wasn’t true.”

Whoa, one thing that is clear from this interview is R. Kelly is a dense multi-layered, deeply troubled and simultaneously talented man. His psychological closet is way too deep (and scary) for us to try to delve into. But this was definitely a peek inside, and we are over here still reeling from some of his responses.

How do you beauties feel about his revelations?

SOURCE: GQ

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8 Bombshell Confessions From R.Kelly About Sexual Abuse, Aaliyah And The Music Everyone Keeps Buying  was originally published on hellobeautiful.com